A Randomly Crazed Newlywed Game
by Raiha-chan
Summary: My first newlywed game! ^.^ Crossover of series including Weiß Kreuz, Saiyuki, Final Fantasy series, among many others. [contains shounen ai and major OOC-ness]


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A Randomly Crazed Newlywed Game

By: [Raiha-chan][1]

Disclaimers: I own nothing. This piece of work is not for profit. I make no money out of it. Do not sue me because my wallet currently houses a bunch of flies and no more. ~.~;;

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"Tell me again exactly WHY I'm doing this?"

"Because if you don't, I can hunt you down and glomp you until you run out of breath."

"Right." **shivers**

"So, why am **_I_** doing this?"

"Because you're glompable, too." **sly grin**

"Reasonable enough, I guess." **shrugs and turns away**

"On in 3 minutes!"

"Okay!" **gives off a V-sign** "Are we all ready?"

"Were we ever to begin?"

"Mou! You're not high-spirited enough."

"Why should I be?"

"Temee…" **fires off a whole bunch of known and unknown curses**

"Curtain rising!"

"EEP!" **runs for cover**

**__**

And now, the Randomly Crazed Newlywed Game shall begin!

The velvety black curtains rose, revealing 3 figures behind it. One had blond hair, wearing an all-black outfit. On his face was an expression that clearly stated he didn't like where he is right now. A couple of feet beside him were a figure, dressed in a black and white dress. A finger rose to twirl strands of blue hair around. Between them stood a black-haired chibi, dressed in a light blue kimono. She held a round shaped fan in one hand.

"Ohohohoho!" the chibi held a chubby hand to her mouth. "Welcome, everyone, to my Randomly Crazed Newlywed Game!"

The audience erupted into small fits of applause.

"Beside me are 2 of my co-hosts," the chibi raised the fan to her left. "This is Mana, from that weird J-Rock group known as Malice Mizer." The fan moved to the right. "And this here is Camui Gackt. He's just plain weird."

The chibi missed the two death glares that her co-hosts shot her behind her back. "And I'm Raiha-chan. Welcome, once again! Without further interruption, let us introduce our contestants! Gackt-chan?"

"Please don't call me that," Gackt groaned. The chibi looked up at him expectantly. He cleared his throat. "Right. Mana-chan?"

"What?" an elegant eyebrow rose. Gackt resisted the urge to slap the blue-haired bishounen silly. Instead, he grabbed Raiha-chan's fan and snapped it half, throwing it backstage afterwards. The chibi only shrugged and produced a new one and began fanning herself again.

"The cards?"

"What cards?" Gackt repeated the fan-breaking process one more time.

"Oh, you mean these?" Mana held up a stack of black colored index cards and handed it to Gackt, who took it with shaking hands. "You're shaking, Camui-chan. Are you cold?"

"Oh, you have n~o idea," Gackt clenched his teeth.

"Gackt look like he's about to rip someone's head off," Cali whispered to the girl sitting beside her. "What's up with that?"

"Gackt was forced to participate in something as stupid as this, 'nuff said," Mill sipped her cup of green tea calmly.

"Oh," Cali turned back to the stage. She turned back to Mill again, after a while. "Where did you get that drink?" Mill only shrugged.

Gackt flipped through the cards, face void of any emotions. He looked up at the person who was more ill fated than he. After all, who on Earth would want to be related to that stupid chibi? "What the hell is this?!"

"You forget, Gackt-sama," Mill shouted down at him. "I'm not the one who's writing this stupid thing. SHE is. Go ask her!"

"If she were able to produce a coherent answer, I would," Gackt muttered out angrily.

"Can you just tell us who the goddamn couples are?!" Raiha-chan hissed.

"Alright, alright, sheesh," Gackt his throat and held up the cards. "Our first couple comes from a fairly popular series, known as Weiß Kreuz. Many think they're the total opposites of each other and therefore, do not make a good couple. But who the hell cares? Ahem, give it up for Fujimiya Ran and Kudou Yoji."

A bunch of loud cheers erupted from the audience and the pair sauntered on stage. Yoji waved at the crowd and somebody screamed out, "Ganbatte!" Ran groaned for nearly the 100th time that day.

Gackt handed a card over to his blue-haired partner, who took it reluctantly. Mana eyed the card warily.

"Our next couple comes from Kaikan Phrase," Mana read. "Here are Todo Yukifumi -- or Yuki for short -- and Okouchi Sakuya."

"Whoa, there's one thing I don't want to ask," Mill raised an eyebrow. The chibi turned her head and looked at her sister, giving the latter a sly smirk.

"Next we have," Gackt turned over a card. "From Saiyuki, we have Sha Gojyo and Genjo Sanzo."

Mill choked on her tea and ended up in an endless fit of coughs. Hakkai and Goku raised their eyebrows then looked at each other.

"Figures," the two said in unison, then returned their attention to the stage.

"And finally," Mana cleared his throat. "This have better be good. Ahem, from the hit Final Fantasy series, we present you Squall Leonhart and Seifer Almasy from Final Fantasy 8."

Suddenly, someone in the audience made loud gagging noise.

"Oh, shut it, Rinoa," Raiha-chan glared at the brunette.

"Finally, we have all our contestants ready to go," Gackt said. "We now must pick who will be the spouse and who will be the husband." The blond eyed all four pair of couples tiredly.

"That would be hard," Mana finished Gackt's thought for him.

"Not at all!" Raiha-chan piped up. "We pick the younger one in the pair!"

"That's not fair!" four voices screamed the chibi.

"Okay, fine! We'll play it by rock-paper-scissors."

The entire room shared a major sweatdropped.

"YOU have a better idea?!" the chibi shot a glare to everyone in the room, who gulped and shook their heads. "Good, so shut it! You boys, go."

After several minutes, the results finally came out. The husbands will be Ran, Sakuya, Sanzo and Seifer. The others became the spouses, of course.

"He cheated!" Gojyo chewed on his cigarette, pissed.

"Oh, do shut up," Sanzo glared at the redhead.

"Yeah, shut up," Raiha-chan cleared her throat. "Well, then, the game have now begun! To save us all the time, we have already asked the spouses their questions. Now, the questions will be asked to the husbands. The husbands are to reply with the answers that they think their spouses gave. Mana-chan?"

"Hmm…" Mana flipped through the cards, lost in thought. Gackt cleared his throat and rapped the other bishounen on the head. "Huh?"

"The questions," Gackt pointed at the cards.

"OH!" Mana held out a card and began reading the question.

"WAIT!" Yoji suddenly cried out. "You never told us the price."

Gackt looked down at the card that listed the prizes. "Grand prize winner gets an all-expense-paid trip to Tokyo for 2 days. Consolation prize includes…a tissue."

The room roared with laughter.

"A tissue?!" Ken doubled over with his laughing fit. "Oh, that's a great thinking! Way to go, Raiha-chan!"

"I wouldn't exactly do that right now," Omi eyed his comrade. "All 8 guys down there look like they're ready to kill someone."

Ken swallowed hard.

"Yes, well, moving on," Mana cleared his throat loudly. "This round contains 3 questions and all are worth 10 points each. Questions number one. Mr. Fujimiya, what's your spouse's favorite color?"

"What kind of stupid question is that?!" Tasuki screamed out from his seat in the audience. Mana shrugged and turned his back at the redhead.

"Well? Fujimiya-san?"

"Black?"

"You sound unsure."

"Shut up."

"Hei hei," Mana turned to Yoji. "Kudou-san, your answer?" The blond held up his card, which read 'black'. "Very good. Next couple. Okouchi-san?"

"Purple."

Yuki held up his card. It read, 'purple'.

"This is the stupidest thing I've ever seen in my entire life," Duo mumbled. "How hard is it to guess your koi's favorite color?!"

"Well, then, what's mine?" Heero eyed the longhaired pilot dangerously.

"Er…green?" Heero gave no reply. He simply turned back towards the stage.

"Ten points for you, too," Mana flipped his long hair over his shoulder. "Genjo-san, your answer please?"

"Red."

Gojyo's card read, 'red'.

"Yippie, ten points for you, too," Mana feigned happiness and turned to the last couple. "Almasy-san?"

"Grey."

Squall held up his card. It says, 'grey'.

"Wonderful!" Mana clapped his hands together. "Ten points for each pair in this round. Moving onto the next question. Camui, your turn."

Gackt nodded. "Second question in this 10 point round is…WHAT THE **bleep** IS THIS?!"

"Just read the damn question!" Kanoe shouted. Everyone within ear range went deaf momentarily.

"Cherry or no cherry?" Gackt read. The chibi blinked up at the blond, then jumped up and grabbed the card from the man's hands.

"Sorry, that was the grocery list," Raiha-chan threw the card backstage. "Next question."

"Ri~ght…" Gackt nodded, weakly. He scanned the new card and then looked back down at the chibi. "Let me guess, this is the laundry list?"

"Huh?"

"Boxers or briefs."

"No, that was the question."

Gackt raised an eyebrow. "Yeah, whatever. Second question, boxers or briefs?"

"Briefs," Ran answered. However, Yoji's card read, 'what's it to you?'

"Sorry, no points. Next."

"What's it to you?" Sakuya asked.

"Hey, that was my line!" Yoji snapped. The vocalist only rolled his eyes and ignored the assassin.

"Just…answer the question," Gackt closed his eyes to fight off the forming headache.

"I already did. What's it to you?"

"Er…" Yuki held up his card. It read, 'why do you care?'

"Close enough. Next!"

"I refuse to answer such question would be his answer," Sanzo replied, calmly. And the priest was right.

"This is getting more boring by the second," Fuuma yawned.

"Well, like they always say, the good stuff always comes out in the end," Kamui shrugged.

"Your answer, Almasy-san?"

"Briefs." And Squall's card read, 'whatever'. "D'oh!"

"It'll be okay," Squall pat his lover's back reassuringly.

"Last question in this round," Raiha-chan said. "Name a body part that you love most about your lover."

"Oh, this has GOT to be good," Nakago rubbed his hands together, gleefully. Everyone who saw that had shivers running down their spines.

"Ran-chan?"

"The John."

Some people in the room fell over, some raised an eyebrow, while only a few remained expressionless.

"Uh…okay. Yoji-kun?"

"Hehe," Yoji grinned and held up his card. "The John."

"What's the John?" Yukito blinked. Touya fell over in his seat while Syaoran pat the white-haired boy on the head, with just a hint of pity.

"Ignoring everything…ignoring everything…" Gackt still had his eyes closed. A hand crept up to his shoulders. "Ohh…that feels go~od…"

The chibi sputtered. "Try to at least keep it down." Mana shrugged back at the chibi and resumes his massage. "Sakuya?"

"Tongue," the vocalist replied

Yuki sniffed.

"What? I got it wrong?" Sakuya looked worried for a moment.

"Huh? What? Oh, no." Yuki held up his card, which read, 'tongue'. "I have a cold coming, remember?" The dark-haired bishounen sneezed. "Curse that Santa!"

A sneeze came from the audience.

"Well, well, what do you know?" Towa inquired. "People DO sneeze if others were talking about them."

"Yeah, alright," Raiha-chan looked up at the next pair. "Sanzo-kun?"

"The hand."

"Damn you," Gojyo held up his card. "Mouth."

"Oh, well."

"Seifer?" the chibi ignored the dangerous looks that Gojyo was giving his husband. "Your answer, please."

"Hmm…" Seifer became lost in thought for a moment. "The fingers?"

Squall grinned and held up his card. "The fingers."

"Yay, we can now head into the next round! The total scores right now are…Ran and Yoji have 20 points. Sakuya and Yuki are in the lead with 30 points. Sanzo and Gojyo have 20 points and so does Seifer and Squall. Stay with us, now, everyone. We'll be back after a friendly message from our sponsors."

The camera zoomed in on Mana, who is still giving a massage to a very loud Gackt and soon, the room faded to black.

~+~+~+~+~

"What?"

"Say something."

"Why? **eyes the camera suspiciously then pokes at the screen**

"Because you're the sponsor. This is the commercial where you say something. Anything will do."

"Oh?" **raises an eyebrow**

"Except anything perverted."

"Damn."

"Or degrading."

"To who?"

"To me!"

"You gave me too much limitations! NOW, what am I supposed to say?!"

"Nothing. Sixty seconds are up. Thank you, come again." **scurries off**

"Your cameraman is weird."

"Tell me about it."

~+~+~+~+~

"And we're back!" Raiha-chan gave a V-sign to the camera. "We are now heading into the second round, where all questions are worth 20 points. The roles are reversed. The spouses will now be the ones answering the questions. There are 5 questions in this round and Mana-chan will start us off with the first one."

No response.

"Mana-chan?" the chibi turned and keeled over immediately. She pulled herself into a standing position and glared at the guitarist, hands on her hips. "MANA-CHAN! Will you STOP massaging the damn guy?! I'm sure he's feeling MUCH better!"

"Huh? Oh, sorry," Mana pulled away slowly. Gackt opened his eyes and pouted.

"Stop being a baby," Raiha-chan ordered. "Now, Mana-chan, read the question."

"Okay," Mana pulled out a card. "Alright, what is your most commonly used pet name?"

"Abyssinnian," Yoji replied, placing a cigarette between his lips.

"Why do you use your codenames?" Schuldich asked. "Wait, no, I don't want to know."

"Oh? And why not?" Brad pushed his glasses up.

"Because then his hormones will skyrocket," Nagi giggled.

"Shut up, kid."

"Fujimiya-san?" Mana turned brown-colored eyes to the redhead. His card read, 'snookums'. Mill went into another choking fit.

"What the HELL?!" Dark complained. "You weren't even drinking!" Mill glared at the thief through her bangs.

"Well, that's no points for you," Mana bit his lip to keep from laughing. "Todo-san?"

"Uh…we have none," Yuki's face held a tiny tint of red. Sakuya lifted his card, which said, 'we have none. And why do you care anyway?'

"Whoa…that couple is good," Tsuzuku exclaimed.

"Gojyo-san?" Mana straightened his dress for no reason at all and looked up at the redhead expectantly.

"Bastard." Sanzo's card read, 'bastard'.

"Boy, the insults never stop, do they?" Goku sighed.

"Not even in bed?" Daisuke asked, all too innocently. Satoshi groaned.

"I think somebody's sexually active," Dark whistled.

"Shouldn't you two be in the same body anyway?!" Satoshi exclaimed.

"Ignore them," Raiha-chan smiled, weakly, then motioned for Mana to continue.

"Very well," Mana nodded and turned to the last couple. "Squall?"

"You little self-centered, egotistical, son of a **bleep**," was the man's answer. "I don't like the bleeping thing."

"Sorry, there are children in the area. No curses allowed."

"But you allowed the word 'bastard'," Seifer jerked his head towards the red-haired half-demon.

"That was his pet name. We had to. Now, your answer, please?"

Seifer grumbled then held up his card, which read, 'self-centered, egotistical, son of a **word disclosed**'.

"We can't even write it?!" Yoji swore.

"Nope. Sorry. Camui, next question."

Gackt sighed then stood up straight. "How many times a day do you have sex? Oh, Heavens, no."

Everyone's ears perked up.

Yoji inhaled slowly then blew out the puff of smoke even more slowly. He licked his dried lips before answering, "Every chance we get, baby."

"They can go that long?" Omi asked.

"Yeah, aren't they already a bit too old?" Hundreds of pairs of eyes turned and glared at Nagi, who happened to be the one that asked that question.

"Ran," Gackt waved a dismissive hand at the crowd.

'Too many times. Gets dizzy from counting. Uh…every chance we get,' was the redhead's answer.

"Twenty points. Yuki?"

Sakuya pat the older man's hand softly. Yuki blushed slightly then composed himself. Flicking strands of hair away from his face, he replied in a calm and collected voice.

"Three times a day. Once during the morning, once during the afternoon and once during the night. Sometimes, in the middle of the night, too."

"I think that was too much…" Gackt pinched the bridge of his nose, the headache returning in full blast. "Sakuya, your answer is…?"

'Three. Or more, if the need comes,' reads the card.

"When is this over?" Gackt whimpered and fell to an unconscious heap onto the floor. Mana started fanning the vocalist.

"Since Gackt can no longer finish the questioning, I shall take over his part for the time being," Raiha-chan stepped up.

"WAIT!" came a shout from backstage. Everyone turned and found…

"TOT?!"

"Can I take his part for now?" the blue-haired girl looked at the chibi hopefully, with the stuffed rabbit tucked under one arm.

"Uh…why? What's it to you?"

"Because it looks like fun."

"Sorry, experienced people only," Mana shooed the girl offstage. "You may continue, Raiha-chan."

"Thanks, Mana, I owe you one," Raiha-chan wiped at the sweat on her forehead. "Ahem, where were we? Oh, right! How many times a day do you two have sex, Gojyo?"

"Whenever the urge overwhelms us," Gojyo shrugged.

'When the feeling gets too hard to ignore,' was written on Sanzo's card.

"Twenty points for you two. Squall?"

"Three," the auburn-haired bishounen replied.

"Don't tell me…" Mana trailed off.

"Yes." Mana's body fell on top of Gackt's.

"Oh, boy," Raiha-chan sighed. "Seifer?"

'Three'. Seifer grinned and threw the card backstage. He turned and pounced on his lover.

"Just three more questions…" Raiha-chan chanted the words over and over again. Gackt's eyes opened slowly.

"What the--?" He sat up, while Mana's body slid downwards at the movement. "Mana-chan? Did I miss something?"

"No, but since you passed out in the middle of a question, you get to ask the third question!" Raiha-chan beamed.

"Oh, lords," Gackt groaned and took the card unwillingly. "Where and when was your first kiss?"

"Hmmm…" Yoji tapped his chin with a finger, thoughtfully. "I'd have to say…that day in the Koneko. I was only playing around with him."

'The day at the flower shop when the moron was up to no good with his playfulness.'

Gackt let out a breath he didn't even know he was holding. "Thank god that wasn't so bad. Next?"

"That rainy night when he came over to Towa's and just grabbed me and…"

"STOP!" Gackt held out a hand. "Too much! We get what you're trying to say."

"I was there, too. RIGHT in front of my face! The man has no shame whatsoever!" Towa complained.

Sakuya held up his answer. 'Valentine's Day on the Ferris wheel in the amusement park'. He pouted.

"Oh, I forgot about that," Yuki smiled sheepishly. Then, he leaned over and kissed his lover's cheek. "Sorry."

"Well, that's no points for you," Gackt announced. "Gojyo?"

"During a game of spin the bottle," the redhead blew out another puff of smoke.

'Spin the bottle game, damn bastard.'

"You didn't censor that!" Koganei shouted.

"Shut up!" Raiha-chan glared daggers at the boy. He started squirming in his seat furiously. Thankfully, Tokiya had a good hold on him.

"Squall?" Gackt ignored the teenage boy and resume his questioning.

"That time in the D-District Prison. He had me chained to a wall, electrocuted me, then kissed me afterwards rather harshly," Squall sniffed.

"Hey, I was under the sorceress' control then," Seifer pointed out.

"Who cares?" Gackt ignored the blonde's glare. "Your answer?"

'D-District Prison,' Seifer grumbled incoherent curses while holding up his card.

"Twenty points for you two," Gackt mumbled, tiredly. "Two more questions to go. I assume I should do Mana's, too?"

"Yes," Raiha-chan nodded enthusiastically.

Gackt sighed, running a hand through his hair. "Where and when did you propose?"

"Right after sex," Yoji replied, rather too bluntly.

"No flowers?" Miaka asked. "That is so un-romantic!"

"Was that even a word, aniki?" Suboshi whispered to his twin.

"I don't think it was…" Amiboshi replied. The twins shut their mouths after Miaka shot them both a nasty look.

"Fujimiya-san?" Gackt was growing more and more impatient.

The redhead held up a card, which read, 'right after we had sex.'

"Uh…right," Gackt coughed. "Next couple."

"During one of our live shows," Yuki beamed.

"Whoa…he proposed in public? Who would've thought?" Irvine shrugged.

"The girls weren't very happy then," Atsuro said.

"Disappointed that he was gay?"

"No. They were ecstatic."

"Then why the hell did you -- never mind."

"We should shut the audience up so this can go faster," Gackt mumbled. "Sakuya, your answer, please."

'During a live show. I proposed and then pounced on him soon afterwards. Needless to say, we were never allowed to perform at that place again,' was written on the white card.

"H~o, too much details!" Gackt attempted at strangling himself to death.

"The girls weren't very happy then, either," Atsuro mentioned.

"Let me guess…they were ecstatic," Irvine said.

"No…they weren't very happy," Atsuro looked at the cowboy with an implied 'duh' in his tone.

"Why do I even bother?" Irvine threw his hands up in defeat.

A soft groan came from in front of Gackt. The blond looked down to find Mana's eyes slowly fluttering open.

"Oh, good, you're back. I'm out," Gackt gave the blue-haired guitarist a thumbs up and flopped back down onto the floor, out cold. Mana scrunched his face up into a confused expression.

"What was the question?" Mana looked up at the chibi.

"Where and when did they propose," Raiha-chan replied. "And we're up to Gojyo."

"Okay," Mana nodded in acknowledgment. "Well, Gojyo-san?"

"Who ever said anything about proposing?" Gojyo chewed on his unlit cigarette. Everyone in the audience gasped.

"You never proposed?!" Asuka fainted and fell right on top of PenPen.

"He just grabbed me, took me to the nearest monastery, had the monk do their thing and boom, we're married," Gojyo shrugged.

"You two are the weirdest couple ever," Syaoran shivered.

"That doesn't matter. Sanzo-san, your answer, please," Mana waved a hand, signaling Sanzo to hold up his card. The card read, 'whoever said I proposed?'

"You are s~o un-romantic!" Tasuki shouted.

"Shut your damn trap, loser," Sanzo pointed a middle finger at the redhead. The latter began his long train of curses and even made an attempt to get down to the stage and throttle the priest's neck, only to be stopped by Chichiri and Kouji.

Mana rolled his eyes. "Squall, please make this quick. I made an appointment with my maker." Everyone in the room sweatdropped.

"That same time in the D-District Prison," Squall answered.

"You idiot, I was only doing that for the hell of it," Seifer smashed the card against Squall's head. For other's benefit, the card did not break. So everyone was able to see what Seifer wrote.

'A couple of days after Ultimecia was dead, in Deling City.'

"I was expecting more perverted stuff in this thing," Schuldich sounded disappointed.

"They're afraid your hormones will get out of control again," Brad replied, matter-of-factly.

"Creep." The redhead gave a tiny sniff.

"Last question and we hit commercial!" Raiha-chan grinned widely. "Now, listen closely. How long did it take for your spouse to notice you as their significant other?"

"I've been flirting with him since the guy joined the team," Yoji said. "So…I'd say about two years or so."

Ran's card read, 'two years.'

"That boy gives the shortest and most boring answers," Treize noted, making a low 'humph' sound. The blond next to him yawned.

"Who gives a rat's ass?" Zechs remarked.

"Yuki?" Raiha-chan pointed a middle finger at the two OZ members, who started to curse at her. "SHUT UP!"

Yuki blinked. The chibi chuckled weakly then beckoned him to continue. "Uh…well…he DID pounce on me right after our first meeting…but as his significant other…I'd say after our first meeting."

Sakuya gave every a v-sign and held up his card. 'After our first meeting. That was the best night yet. **chuckles**'

"I won't ask you to elaborate on that," the chibi cleared her throat. "Gojyo, if you may."

"A lifetime," Gojyo replied. Sanzo held up a card, that read, 'a lifetime'.

"Dare I ask you to elaborate?" Raiha-chan asked slowly. Both men shook their heads 'no' rather fiercely. "Uh…right. Moving on. Last couple, please."

"After that time in the D-District Prison," Squall answered yet again.

"Why is the damn idiot so stuck on that?!" Zell demanded.

"Because it was the right answer, chickenwuss!" Seifer glared and held up his card, which indeed read, 'Right after the D-District Prison'.

"Is it over?" one of Gackt's eye peeked open.

"Yes, we're heading into commercial now," Raiha-chan said. "So far, Ran and Yoji have a total score of 100 points. Sakuya and Yuki have 110 points. Sanzo and Gojyo are in the lead with 120 points. And Finally, Squall and Seifer have 100 points. We'll be back with the bonus round right after the following break!"

* * *

"The Randomly Crazed Newlywed Game is now underway," the cameraman wandered aimlessly around the entrance area. "You are now watching footage where our guests makes their appearance to the show."

"Why am I coming here again?" Heero asked, ignoring the cameraman who was hovering around them.

"Because I threatened that you'll be sleeping on the couch if you don't come with me," Duo flashed his koi a grin.

"Hn."

"This is wrong," Schuldich sniffed. His 3 comrades turned and gave him looks. "Ran belongs to me. **sniff sniff**"

"Schuldich…" Nagi began as the telepath looked at him. "You just said Yoji belongs to you earlier during the car ride here."

"Oh. Well, they BOTH belong to me!"

"Oh, a threesome, eh?" Touga winked at the Schwarz redhead. "They're lovely, aren't they?" The President of the Student Body Council at the Ohtori Academy draped both arms around a green-haired man and a blue-haired boy.

"Humph, player," Saionji and Miki both shrugged the redhead's arms off and resumed their walk towards the entrance.

"They can also be trouble," Touga shrugged and followed his two lovers.

~+~+~+~+~

"Why are we selected?" Sakuya asked in a low voice.

"It was randomly picked. We have a machine to do that. There are cards with couples' names written on them. Whichever four pops out becomes our contestants. Cool, eh?"

Everyone turned and stare at the chibi.

* * *

"And we're back!" the cameraman announced, giving a thumbs up to the chibi, who nodded and smiled at the audience.

"So, THAT was the whole selection process," Xelloss said. "Then, basically, we have at least 90% chance of not being selected."

"Sixty percent, Xel, 60," Raiha-chan corrected the purple-haired demon, then focused her attention back to the show. "First off, we are very happy to have Gackt and Mana back with us, and away from Hell and their makers."

"Why do we feel not so happy then?" Gackt mumbled.

"Shut up, Gackt," Raiha-chan mumbled under her breath. "Anyway! Here is our final bonus round. Each question is worth 40 points. The couple with the most points after this round wins. If there is a tie, then we'll use the tie breaker round, which is basically a random question picked out of this hat here." The chibi held up said hat. "We'll explain this later, though. Now, let's begin!"

"Why is it that I usually get the first question?" Gackt muttered, holding up a new piece of card. "There are 3 questions in this round, by the way, and the husbands will do the answering. Ahem, the first question of this bonus round is, what is your idea of being seduced/ravished?"

Half of the audience members tipped over in their seats.

"Fujimiya-san?" Gackt looked at the redhead, getting more bored and annoyed by the second. "Your answer. And make it snappy."

Ran raised an eyebrow at the singer. "Fucking."

Mill, along with others that were unfortunate, spat out the entire contents of the drinks they have been sipping quietly before. Mana's face was all red. Gackt only rolled his eyes and turned towards Yoji.

"Kudou-san, your answer, may I ask?"

Yoji grinned and turned his card over, 'Fucking the boy into the ground hard enough to leave an imprint.'

"Maybe I should've censored that…" Raiha-chan pondered silently. A couple of childish voices in the back shouted in agreement.

"Sakuya-san?" Gackt tuned out everything in the background and stare at the vocalist intensely.

"It involves a cherry, whip cream, and a MD player," Sakuya replied, without blinking, blushing or stammering. The others, however, did one or two out of the three actions mentioned.

"We would not ask you to explain that any further," Gackt said. Sakuya nodded at the blond. "Well, Yuki-san?"

"Exactly what would you censor?" Yuki asked the chibi.

"Anything that kids should not hear about," the chibi crossed her arms across her chest and looked at the guitarist, with a slight interest in what was written on the card.

"Er…okay," Yuki held up the white card. 'Cherries that were meant for two things, a MD player with the Datenshi BLUE song recorded in it, and some whip cream. On me.'

"Hormones overload," Nagi's voice sounded awfully a lot like a robot's. "Hormones overload." The next thing the boy knew, he was seeing stars, as Schuldich had smacked him upside the head rather hard.

"Moving on," Gackt nodded at Sanzo.

"A long line of all the curses known in the world, followed by the removal of clothes," the priest answered.

"So, the insults DO follow them to bed," Daisuke blinked. Dark patted his alter ego on the head, chuckling all the while. Satoshi can only bury himself as deep into his seat as possible and pretend he was alone, without the accompaniment of those two idiots beside him.

"Well, Gojyo?" Gackt looked at the demon, an eyebrow raised. The demon held up his card, which read, 'Curses and lack of clothes.'

"They have the strangest way of foreplay," Yuuto said, quietly. However, Gojyo heard the comment and turned upwards to shoot a nasty glare at the water-master. Yuuto only waved back.

"Seifer?" Gackt coughed.

"Two words. Training center," Seifer rubbed at his scar self-consciously. Gackt raised an eyebrow at him, silent. "Don't ask. You don't want to know."

"Very well, Squall?"

'Taking me into the training center and do our merry little thing,' Squall held his card upright. Koganei jumped up from his seat.

"Wait, what the hell does that mean!?" the fang boy exclaimed.

"What do you think it meant, stupid?" Kurei glared at the boy, before pulling him back down into his seat.

"That merry little thing could've been the training, you know," Yui said.

"Or sex," Suboshi added. Yui blushed to the tips of her ears. "But training center?"

"Something tells me to stay as far away from that place as possible," Selphie shivered, chills running down her spine.

"Shut the **bleep** up you little **bleep**!" Seifer screamed at the audience, who surprisingly quieted down for a while.

"Moving on, please," Mana held up another black card. "Second question, listen carefully. "What turns you on?"

Ran thought over the question silently before replying, "His body. Naked."

Mana flopped down onto one of the three chairs that had been empty ever since the start of the bonus round and fell right onto something soft.

"Oompf!" Gackt exhaled. Mana turned around to find that he happened to be sitting on his friend's lap.

"Camui-chan, this was my seat," Mana said, matter-of-factly. Gackt gave him no response as he was still trying to recover from the sudden shock. The blue-haired bishounen turned back towards the contestants. "Kudou-san, your card."

'Me naked.' Yoji held up a v-sign and inhaled on his cigarette.

"Good, next."

"The voice," Sakuya replied, as his lover coiled an arm around his. Mana raised an eyebrow and the vocalist only shrugged in response.

'The voice,' read Yuki's card.

"The insults," Sanzo snatched the cigarette from Gojyo's mouth and placed it between his own lips. He didn't even bother to wait for Mana's signal before replying. The latter fumed silently but gave it up.

"Are those two's relationship based on insults or something?" Karen asked.

"Possibly," Seiichiro shrugged and offered a small smile.

"Don't forget the sex," Sorata grinned. Arashi mouthed the word, 'baka' before bopping the other on the head. Gojyo turned up towards the X group and grinned.

"Our relationship is based on three things, insults, sex, and more sex." The entire X clan choked on their saliva.

"We really should shut the audience up," Mana said. "They're only slowing the questioning down."

"I know a good mute spell," Orphen offered from the seats. Everyone turned and shot him a look. "Oh, I am VERY scared. I can blast you all the way to Pluto, you damn **bleep** so quit the looks."

"Just, keep going," Raiha-chan said, before sitting in the chair right beside Mana's.

"Seifer?" Mana was almost afraid of the blonde's answer.

"The weapon," Seifer's smirk dared everyone in the room to ponder about the meaning of his answer.

"Uh…right," Mana squirmed in Gackt's lap uncomfortably. "Squall?"

Squall looked up, holding the card up as well. The black card had the words, 'the weapon' written on it in white ink.

"Would somebody do me a favor and just shoot me right now?" Mana asked and fell back against Gackt with a defeated sigh.

"Last question!" Raiha-chan spoke before anyone decided to take up on that offer. "Let's get through this WITHOUT any interruption, please. What turns you OFF? Ran-kun?"

"His smoking habits."

'The **bleep** hates my smoking habits.'

"Must you insult me?"

"You can spank me later, honey."

Raiha-chan choked. "NEXT!!"

"My attitude."

'No one likes his attitude.'

"That's because they don't know the true beauty of it."

"…………"

"Ignore every single stupid thing I've just said."

"You said plenty."

"Just…shut up, Yuki."

Yuki rolled his eyes while Raiha-chan called out, 'next.'

"The insults."

'The mean and down-right dirty insults.'

"They weren't kidding when they said their relationship is based on insults," Subaru noted. Seishirou nodded.

"Next, please," Raiha-chan could feel her own headache forming.

"His choice of words when speaking." Everyone in the room raised an eyebrow. The Final Fantasy gang only shrugged.

"After all, the only thing the boy ever DOES say is 'whatever'," Sephiroth said, while the others nodded in agreement with him.

"I said NO interruptions," Raiha-chan cast a look at the audience before turning back to Squall. "Squall, your answer."

'The scars, because they kept reminding me of our old feud.'

"They don't bother me that much," Seifer said. Squall glared up at the blond.

"Okay, we're now done with the bonus round!" Raiha-chan jumped down from her seat. Beside, Mana clapped silently. Behind him, Gackt had his eyelids halfway sliding down over his eyes. After a hard nudge from Mana, the blond vocalist awoke with a start.

"Let's tally up the scores, now shall we?" the chibi beamed. "Ran and Yoji have 220 points. Sakuya and Yuki have 230 points. Sanzo and Gojyo are in the lead with 240 points. Seifer and Squall finished last with 180 points. So the winners of this Randomly Crazed Newlywed Game is Sanzo and Gojyo!"

"Oh, no ties?" Kujaku asked.

"You sound rather disappointed," Yasha-ou turned to the black-haired man. "What's up with that?"

"I wanted to know what the question would have been."

"Yeah, me, too," Fuuko added. "Pick a question out of the hat just for the hell of it, chibi!"

"Uh…okay, I don't see why not," Raiha-chan picked up the long forgotten hat from the floor and rummaged through it. Her chubby hand withdrew with a silver colored card. She read the question silently in her mind before sweatdropping.

"What what?!" the audience members grew more excited and impatient.

"For future references, all these questions were given by the audience members, not me," the chibi said.

"WHO CARES?!" were her only response.

"Er…right," Raiha-chan swallowed hard. "The question was, 'what's your favorite number?'" Everyone in the room fell to a deathly silence. "Who made up this question?" Ten hands rose without shame to the question.

"I had no better question!" all ten audience members protested. Their identities have been hidden so they will not be ridiculed by anymore people on their stupidity.

"Uh…sure, whatever," the chibi shrugged. "Well, anyway. The winners of this newlywed game have been announced. And they are Genjo Sanzo and Sha Gojyo! They have the chance to visit Tokyo for two days, on us! Yippie for both of them! The losers will all get their consolation prize, which was a tissue."

"Why do we need a tissue?" Seifer snapped.

"We can get them for free!" Sakuya added.

"In case you break down and cries," the chibi replied. She gulped when 6 pairs of eyes glared at her, and its owners advanced towards the chibi dangerously. The chibi made a dash towards the exit. "Everyone, meet on the top floor for the cast party!"

The audience members looked at each other, wondering if they should go.

* * *

"And the credits roll," the cameraman announced. He looked up to find that the room was empty, save for the couple who remained in their chair, smooching happily.

Raiha looked at the two co-hosts. "I was wondering when they will eventually jump each other. Hey, you!"

Mana and Gackt broke away and turned to the ninja with death glares. "WHAT?!"

"First of all, I'm a trained ninja," Raiha began. "Second of all, will you two call it quits? I would like to close this place down. Everyone else is on the top floor for the cast party."

"Do we have to go?" Gackt pouted. "Haven't we been through enough torture by appearing as co-hosts on this show?"

"I'm sorry but it's required that you two attend."

"What if we don't?" Mana challenged.

"Raiha-chan will glomp you," Raiha watched as the two co-hosts shivered, then mumbled something incoherently to each other and finally standing up to leave the room. When the two was finally gone, Raiha continued his packing up.

Appearing by the exit, with a hand poised above the light switch, Raiha turned back towards the off camera.

"No one, bishounen or otherwise, was hurt in the making of this fiction," was all the ninja said before the lights went off and the door closed. A soft scoff was then heard and a, "yeah right."

~+~+~+~+~

This piece of fiction included appearances by the characters of:

Neon Genesis Evangelion, Weiß Kreuz, Final Fantasy series, Soryuden, Saiyuki, Kaikan Phrase, Fushigi Yuugi, Gundam Wing, Dn Angel, Sorcerous Stabber Orphen, X, as well as Rg Veda.

No one was harmed in the making of this fiction.

* * *

**__**

The Randomly Crazed Newlywed Game Cast Party

"Why are you the camera guy?" Recca asked.

"I don't know," Raiha shrugged and took a sip of the red wine he had been nursing for a while.

"Onii!" Raiha-chan jumped and latched herself onto Raiha's neck. "Hello! Miss me?"

"Apparently not."

"Mou!" Raiha-chan's cheeks puffed out in frustration.

"'Onii'?" Kurei raised a dark eyebrow.

"Yup, this is my oniisan!" Raiha-chan beamed.

"Since when?" Neon asked.

"Since I was named Raiha-chan."

A dozen pair of eyebrows shot up.

"Hey, Mill," Domon called to the passing by girl. She stopped and gave the boy a look. Domon ignored the look and jerked a finger towards Raiha. "You got a new brother."

Casting one look at Raiha, Mill replied in a dull tone, "At least it's better than what I have now." And with that, the girl sauntered away.

"Your sister is weird," Yanagi blinked.

"I know! Weirdness also runs in the family genes," the chibi smiled.

"'Also'?" Tokiya tilted his head to a side.

"Insanity comes first."

"Aa. Sou desu."

A loud barking noise came from the distance. Everyone turned their heads towards the sound. Soon, the barking changed to painful howling.

"They're skinning Ashitare alive," was all what Soi had to offer when she passed by the chibi's group on her way to the food table. Raiha-chan shot an eyebrow up, then dislodged herself from Raiha and dashed towards the sound.

"Hey, you sicko, what are you doing?!" the chibi pushed through the crowd that had gathered in front of the sick dog. The said dog is now fidgeting on the floor, face all scrunched up in pain. "What's wrong with him?"

"He ate the food," Tomo said.

"So?"

"The ones Miaka made," Tomo pointed at the plates of food that held a label in front of it. The label read, 'danger, Miaka made this.'

"Oh, that is just wrong," Nuriko gasped. "Not even Ashitare deserved such poor fate!" The dog nodded his head vigorously.

"Shut up, you jerks!" Miaka feigned tears and ran off.

"Shouldn't you be following her?" Raiha walked up beside Tamahome.

"Why?" Tamahome asked, chewing down a plate of food, not made by Miaka, as it looks like.

"Aren't you her boyfriend?"

"Ah, well." Another bite and Tamahome walked away. However, he made no move to follow the Suzaku no Miko.

"Heartless bastard," was all Gojyo said.

"No, that would be Nakago," Suboshi said. "Tamahome is just the bastard."

"No, he's the little ghost," Cali corrected. She then looked around to make sure the person to whom the insult was directed to do not hear it. She was in luck.

"Everyone, quiet down a bit!" Raiha-chan clapped her chubby hands together. "We have a special performance by Gackt-chan!"

Gackt spat out a piece of shrimp he was eating. Mana pats the blonde's back and the latter continued his choking fit.

"It's not true! That was totally uncalled for!" the vocalist complained.

"Well, call it a surprise, then," the chibi shrugged while Gackt started shouting profanities at her. Mana became the middle guy when the two looked like they were ever so ready to rip each other's throats out.

"Look, just get up there and perform," Mana pushed Gackt towards the so-called stage. "Hey, look, your bandmates are here."

"We did refused," You said.

"But she…**gulp**…glomped us," Masa trembled slightly.

"Yes, that was unfortunate," Ren mumbled. Gackt took his place by the microphone, looking a tad bit uncomfortable and a whole lot pissed.

"Ganbatte, Gackt-chan!" Raiha-chan waved before disappearing as the crowd gathered around the makeshift stage.

"I will hunt that **bleep** down and **bleep bleep** that little **bleep**," was all Gackt said.

"Hey, cut the profanities down a bit, why don't you?!" Karen shouted.

"Oy, let's just get this over with," You said. The other 2 nodded. Gackt groaned then cleared his throat. His hand moved towards the microphone. A type of fast beat rock music began to play in the background.

"_Kimi wa seijitsuna moralist kireina yubi de boku o nazoru   
Boku wa junsuina terrorist kimi no omou ga mama ni kakumei ga okiru_"

As Gackt sang, rather reluctantly, a couple of people started to dance, alone as well as in groups.

"_Koi ni shibarareta specialist nagai tsume o taterareta boku   
Ah boku ga boku de nakunaru mae ni_"

"He doesn't look like he's into the music right now," Kanoe swing to the beat. She swung an arm around, nearly slapping her sister in the process.

"Watch it, Kanoe!" Hinoto snapped.

"Sorry, sis!" Kanoe stuck a tongue out childishly.

"_Aishite mo ii kai ? Yureru yoru ni   
Aru ga mama de ii yo motto fukaku   
Kuruoshii kurai ni nareta kuchibiru ga toke au hodo ni   
Boku wa…kimi no…vanilla_"

As Gackt sang the song, the only thought he had in his head was, "Oh, how I wish to get my hands around that chibi's neck and just squeeze. Squeeze oh-so-very hard."

As if sensing Gackt's murderous mood, You sweatdropped and leaned over to Ren and whispered something into his ear.

"We should get that chibi as far away from our vocalist here as possible," You said. Ren nodded and passed the note over to Masa.

"_Nante kitorisugi sonna cool na kimi wa plastic   
Atsui manazashi ni wa ecologist sono moeru kuchizuke ga modokashii_"

The person that occupied Gackt's mind for the past nearly 3 minutes is now heading towards the buffet table. She have no clue as to what Gackt had in store for her.

Maybe that was a good thing.

"_Igandeiku kimi no kao ga   
Ah boku ga boku de iraremasu youni_"

"Exactly why did you pick Gackt-sama as one of your co-host?" Mill asked, as Raiha-chan chew on the bread. "Mana, I understand. You're insane."

The chibi shot her sister a look. "Because Gackt-chan and Mana-chan look cute together."

"Have you never taught about the possibility of Gackt-sama chasing after you, knife in hand perhaps, trying to kill you for putting him through this much torture?"

The chibi paused in the act of putting the last piece of the bread into her mouth. She remained in that position for a good 5 minutes.

"_Aishite mo ii kai ? yureru yoru ni   
Aru ga mama de ii yo motto hayaku   
Kurushii kurai ni nareta kuchibiru ga kotoba nante mou   
Kimi to…boku not…burning love_"

Mana watched the performance from his seat at the sides. Taking a sip of the wine, he turned and cast a look at a certain chibi. He let out a small chuckle at the sight of Raiha-chan. She was holding a piece of bread in front of her mouth, not moving at all.

Standing up, Mana made his way through the crowd, and towards the buffet table where the chibi was seated.

"_Ah itsuku asa o mukaereba ah yoru wa owaru no darou ka   
Ah sora ni chiribamerareta ah shiroi hana ni kakomaretaiku_"

The song was nearly finished. Gackt's lips curved upwards, not into a nice smile but rather, a nasty smile.

Someone was going to die tonight. And we can all guess who it was going to be, can't we?

"_Aishite mo ii kai ? yureru yoru ni   
Aru ga mama de ii yo (I've seen a tail)   
Kuyashii kurai ni kimi ni hamatteru no ni   
A crew sees cring knees,   
I wanna need, not betray!!_"

Raiha-chan finally stuffed the bread into her mouth and jumped off the table. She then dashed towards Raiha, proceeded to latched herself onto his neck again, nearly choking the boy to death in the process.

"You must save me!"

"Huh? Wait…loose your grip, thank you," Raiha's face went back to its natural color from being red before. "What's wrong?"

"Gackt-chan want to kill me!"

"He's been planning that since he got here."

"Oh."

"It's inevitable," Kurei sipped his drink slowly. His eyes moved over and held the chibi's gaze. "This should be more entertaining than before."

"HEY! You're supposed to help me when I'm in danger."

"Sorry, that was Raiha."

"No, I'm supposed to help YOU when YOU'RE in danger, Kurei-sama. I AM your ninja, after all."

"I don't care! Just…SOMEONE help me!!" Hundreds of pairs of eyes moved towards one person.

"_Aishite mo ii kai ? yureru yoru ni   
Aru ga mama de ii yo motto kimi o   
Kuruoshii kurai ni nareta koshitsuki ga toke au hodo ni   
Kimi wa…boku no…bannin da_"

"Finally, done," Gackt jumped off the stage. Ren and Masa shared a look and swallowed hard. You went after Gackt.

"Hey, how about a drink?" You grabbed a drink from the table nearby and shoved it in the blonde's face. The latter shook his head and continued making his way towards the person who put him into such torture.

"This is horrible, shouldn't we go help?" Kamui looked up at his twin star.

"Why? What's it to you?" Fuuma asked.

"I just thought…"

"Don't worry about it, Kamui," Sorata draped an arm around the younger boy's shoulders. "She's the author of this fiction. What kind of stupid author make themselves die in their own fiction?"

"You don't understand, Sorata-san," Akira spoke. "True, authors aren't so stupid as to make themselves die in their own piece of fiction. However…"

"That chibi forgot that fact right now," Suoh finished for the other boy.

"And therefore, she will die," Nokoru added, with a smile.

"Then why do you look so happy?" Chiriko asked.

"Because she will die." The young boy raised an eyebrow.

"You little **bleep**. I will rip your throat out and feed it to the **bleep** animals then shred your tiny bodies and feed THOSE to the **bleep**."

Everyone turned towards the person who made that comment. Of course, it was Gackt. He stood about 10 feet in front of Raiha-chan, arms crossed and looking far too out of control.

"How does an all-you-can-eat dinner sound to you?" the chibi looked up at the vocalist, her eyes wobbling.

"No, thanks."

The chibi broke down in tears and wept openly. The spectators made comments and many of those included, "you made a poor little girl cry!". Gackt only shot everyone a nasty look.

"I always thought the guy was insane," Squall noted.

"You just met the guy," Seifer reminded.

"Exactly. Like I said, I always thought the guy was insane."

"You make no sense."

"Shut up, you **bleep**. Oh yeah, NOW they censor the word **bleep**?! **bleep**!!" Seifer moved a hand and covered Squall's mouth as the latter continued his rain of profanities.

"Gackt," Mana said the word in a low and dangerous tone. The blue-haired man stepped in front of the chibi. The blond looked at the guitarist, eyebrow raised in what seem to be a challenge. "You hurt the girl and…"

"And?"

"You get the leisure of sleeping on the couch for the next couple of weeks. Throw in the lack of sex, too."

Everyone choked.

"Am I safe now?" the chibi peeked out from behind Mana's black dress. Gackt was silent for a moment before breaking off into a loud, "SHIT!"

"Hey, you didn't censor that!" Squall complained.

"First of all, Squall dear," Raiha-chan stepped away from her temporary hiding place. "Shit does not necessarily mean a profanity. It could've been the feces. Second of all, I'm not the one doing the censoring anyway. So why the fuck do you people keep complaining to me?!"

"That **bleep** word was not censored," Koganei noted.

"So, exactly WHO censors this?" Tokiya asked.

The chibi pointed at a mysterious cloaked figure, standing beside Orphen. When the sorcerer finally noticed the figure, he jumped a yard away. Majick inched towards the figure and leaned up towards to see if he could figure out who it was. He screamed and ran away to find the comfort of his Ousho-sama.

"Please, cut it with the dramatics," Irvine rolled his eyes. He went over and reached up to pull away the hood covering the figure's face. The lights suddenly blacked out and everyone in the room screamed.

~+~+~+~+~

"That was REALLY uncalled for."

"Shut up, Gackt."

"You're crushing my windpipe, Mana-chan."

"Sorry."

"Anyway…where was I? Oh yeah. That was REALLY uncalled for."

"Gackt-sama, SHUT UP!"

"Jesus. Hurry it up with the light will you?"

"If you'll shut up…AHA!" Light filled the room once again. No one had moved from where they had stood earlier, their gazes still fixed on the cloaked figure. The hood was pulled back from his face now. Irvine laid in an unconscious heap in front of the figure.

"Hello," the figure held up a v-sign and grinned broadly.

"Garv…" everyone said the word, shivering and trembling at the same time.

"Why does everyone seemed to be afraid of little ol' me?" the demon asked, as he saw Xelloss paled.

"Er…have you seen the last couple of eye-catches in the Slayers Try series?" Raiha-chan gulped.

"No. Why?"

"It involved you wearing a uniform…"

"What's wrong with that?"

"Have you ever seen the school uniforms the Sailormoon girls wore?"

"The blue and white, sailor-look alike type? Yes. Why?"

"You wore that."

Garv paled.

"That ruined your image for you," Zell finished for the chibi.

"We all saw that particular eye-catch," Quistis explained. "Needless to say, our first impression was ruined." Garv did not replied, but his face took on some colors.

"Yes, well, enough of that," Gackt pushed the issue aside. "The question still remains. Why the hell is HE doing the censoring? And why is he only censoring some words and not **bleep**. What the fuck was that?! THAT was not a cuss word!"

"Well, you see…" Garv smiled sheepishly and held up a button that resembled Heero's Gundam's self-detonate button very much. "I press this button and the cuss word will be censored. Like **bleep** this. However, the bad thing is that this thing is mad slow. So if I press it now," the demon pressed down. "Nothing gets cut off. But just wait a while. It'll go **bleep**. See?"

"Let me see that," Raiha-chan went over and took the button. "You idiot! That's because this shit is out of **bleep**."

"Uh…batteries, you mean?" Garv asked.

"Yes!" The chibi tossed the button towards Heero. "By the way, you might want to know that your Gundam have probably just blew up…oh, I'd say around 50 times or so in the past hours that we've been here."

Heero rose an eyebrow and looked down at the button. He made a small noise in the back of his throat, sounding very much like a gasp. He looked up and fixed Garv a glare, which the latter returned in full force.

"This…was…my…Gundam's…self-detonate button, you little piece of **bleep**!!"

"Oh."

"Wait…where's the explosions then?" Duo asked.

"BAKA!" Heero slapped the braided pilot. "The Gundams are all home. Therefore, we can't feel nor see the damn explosions."

"Our house…" Quatre suddenly looked worried and pissed at the same moment. The 5 Gundam pilots advanced towards the demon. The latter took out his sword. There was a deafening silence before someone stood between them.

"WAIT! If that was the self-detonate button…then who was doing the censoring all the while when Garv was pushing that useless thing?" You asked. Everyone looked at each other.

"Hey, you guys!" Gourry suddenly appeared. "I found this cute little thing a while back when I was still coming here. I spent the last 2 hours just looking and pressing this thing. Did I miss anything?"

Everyone turned and looked at the Sword of Light wielder.

"That would be our censor button," Mill said, before gulping down the entire contents of her drink then tossing it behind her.

"Gourry-san, run," was all Yukito could get out before everyone rushed forward in numerous attempts at shooting the blond down.

****

~~Finish!~~

Ending Notes: Hehe, my first Newlywed Game! ^o^ How do you like it? Thanks to everyone who offered me tons of questions to ask (especially Helen! ^.^). The song that Gackt-chan sang was one of his single, "Vanilla."

Fiction finished all throughout the course of 2 days. Accompanying me were the following necessary material: a can of Mountain Dew, a bunch of old but pretty soundtracks (including Space Jam, Will Smith's Big Willie Style and Christina Aguilera's first album), a ton of Gackt's songs, the necessary noise from TV and my surrounding environment and my comedy muse. ^.^

Well, ta-ta, minna-san! ^.^ Until next time. **scurries off**

   [1]: mailto:toosang.lam@worldnet.att.net



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